Prison Food: Sustainable insofar as I can still move rocks
Our friend, Scott, is our penpal in a California State prison. In
case you've been wondering what food was like in prison, now you know:
Part I:
Institutional food comes in many subtle shades, classified not by
region but by type of institution. Hospital, camp, mental institution –
there are endless wonderful flavors. And the greatest of these is
prison food. If institutional food seeks to remove the bother of
pleasing the end user and to achieve brutal market efficiencies, then
prison food is what these institutions should study and aspire to be.
“The customer is always wrong, Inmate!”
At the typical California prison, costs and lawsuits dictate all things
gustatory. Thusly, we are served a wide variety of cheap foods at every
meal, always wit the fleeting sense of some resentful hand behind the
hand placing a mushy banana next to your carrots. Each tray is a
personal supermarket of variously prepared staples, and in keeping with
the American tradition, a main course is usually present to inspire
someone (unclear who). What this main course is and how it will come
out is a subject of much debate on the yard each day. Clearly, though,
the fragile emotional state of the head cook and the abilities of the
inmate kitchen staff play a central role.
Extreme Lockup: Culinary Edition
At my modern, high security prison, food is brought directly to the
small cell block in rolling carts and warmed on an equally rolling
serving station. There is usually a pear, apple, or banana at
breakfast along with hot or cold cereal – I learned what Farina is
right off the bat. Toast or French toast is PIA (Prison Industry
Authority) as was a 6-oz juice (from concentrate). Once a week, we had
PIAggoe waffles. Eggs were powdered or fried, but always welcome. Milk
and airline-sized snacks were often sourced from various free market
pirates with state contracts. Lunch included 4 slices of this PIA
wheat bread and lunchmeat that reminded me of lunchmeat I didn’t want
to eat. I usually ate peanut butter from the monthly inmate canteen or
weekly pirate squeeze packets.
Dinners include a vegetable, pinto beans, PIA bread, main course and
dessert. All soups, sauces, puddings and stews implied exotic chemical
processes at work in the institutional kitchen. The phrase “firming
agent” comes to mind. Main courses often consisted of a stew like
substance or gelatinous pasta dish. Occasionally there would be
low-grade roast beef – turkey-ham was more common. Spaghetti and fish
nights are my favorites. Some nights the main course was fixed and
ritualistic – variety nights often bombed with the audience. 6-0 days
of this was plenty – message received and understood, California!
-Pen Pal Scott
|
